External: [link] Skippy’s List: The 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army

Awesome list of things not to do in the army. Bonus: another smaller list of things not to do in the workplace. Both will make you laugh.

My favorites:

7. Not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.

77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them “You don’t need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for.”

External: [Link] "It's like twitter. Except we charge people to use it."

This is quite possibly one of the funniest things I have read on the internet in a long time.

External: [link] Random thoughts from people our age

Throughout the 61 items you'll find gems like:

I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

and:

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

But the whole list is actually pretty funny.

Chillaxin with Jesus

April 2, 2009 1

Sure the picture is funny, but Horklog's title, "Come on. Really?" coupled with the picture was so funny to me, I still haven't recovered.

A Tribute to Being Owned

or pwned, or however you say it. I don't know what makes this video funnier, the pwned moments, or the perfect music...

Wondering How the gov't decides where your money should go? Southpark found out

External: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

From the Product Description:

"Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" features the original text of Jane Austen's beloved novel with all-new scenes of bone crunching zombie action.

Maybe if this was the version we read in High School I would have actually read the thing.

The Greatest Commercial Ever Made

This is actually the best thing I have seen on cable in a while. I
almost fell out of my chair laughing (if you have seen it on TV, yes,
I was watching "Degrassi High" on The-N. And yes, my masculinity has
gone down a notch)...

Girls, Don't Fall for this

A Drunk Man Comes Home

This joke is NSFW due to some language.

A drunk old man stumbles into his bedroom after drinking and gambling almost the whole night at the local bar, waking his wife.
"Drunk again, are you?" She asks.
"Yeah...I am," he says. And just leans there while she gives him the evil eye.
Finally, his wife says, "How much did you spend tonight?"
The old man fumbles for his wallet, gives it a long look inside, and says, "Oh, about a hundred dollars I recon."
His wife yells, "A hundred dollars? You spent a hundred dollars in one night? Do you have any idea just how long a hundred dollars would last me?"
The man, thought about that for a minute and then looks at her and says, "Well, let's see, woman. You don't smoke...You don't drink...You've got your own damn pussy. Why, I reckon a hundred dollars ought to just about last you forever."

Adapted from Inside Delta Force page 323.